First thing is first.
What is this “first thing”?
Some might say God is the first thing, other’s might say Love or Money.
When I wake up in the morning my first thought is usually that of gratitude, gratitude that I am still alive, then my musing is usually followed by the notion that a greater thing outside of my little life is the responsible party for my living.
Somewhere along the line I found this to be my downfall. A pastor once told me this mindset made me prime material to be “used by God”. I sense some uncomfortable double meaning here.
I want to go on, I want to encourage myself to be conscious of the fact that no one else is responsible for my life except me. This first thing in my life is the number one reason why I am still a juvenile in my 30’s; I want something to hold me and nurse me through life, apparently.
I am disturbed by this because I loop here and I am exploited and have been by this default. But like everything, all systems must undergo development. I am finding this antique notion of needing God to be alive as limiting; if there is a God life is a gift and since I have thumbs and a tongue and a brain, eyes, ears, nose and expression I have to do my own work living. So let my first thing be my health, and let it be not what I consume but how I think and what I choose to illuminate with my words.
sam's entree 